324 and Counting
I’m taking a break from Judo for a while. Not permanently, but I need six months or so away from the mat to get the rest of my life in order. However, I not only don’t want six months away from the mat, I literally can’t have it.
I weigh 324 pounds.
I’ve never been heavier in my life. Not ever. I could, and at one point quite wanted to, talk about why this happened, how it made me feel, what I wanted to do get around it, how upset I was. There’s no point,it’s all pretty much laid out in that sentence. I weigh a cartoon weight. I am the heaviest person I know. I may even be the heaviest person you know.
It’s a shitty, unfair, upsetting start and I hate it so much I can’t say . But it’s a start, and the road to losing weight starts, for me, with exercise. I have a geological metabolism, I can actually gain weight by looking at food. It’s ridiculous, it’s a situation I’ve failed utterly to deal with my entire life and it’s one which I’m bored of. Which is why although I’m taking a break from Judo, I’m not taking a break from the martial arts. That sort of explosive, edge of the red line exercise is very good for me and I want, and need, it to continue to be a part of my life. Which is why I came up with the plan, and the plan looks a little something like this: I exercise every second day. Without fail. It doesn’t matter what it is I do, but I do something, for no less than half an hour at a time. Running, walking, fighting in some form, yoga, whatever I can lay my hands on. The first stage is kickboxing, and I went to my first lesson last night, after two weeks of being too stuffed full of cold to go.
Or rather, I didn’t. I walked 3.7 miles, I know, thanks to Google maps. I actually walked PAST the building, and had to ask directions from several people who were probably a little frightened by the tall, broad, intense looking dude in the WRITER hoodie asking where the community centre was.
I showed up. The class didn’t. Wrong night. I went home, got some food and took some solace in the 3.7 mile walk. But only some, because believe me losing weight is frustrating in a way very little else is. It takes ages, it requires constant vigilance, you start from a position of weakness and live on a thin gossamer thread of success that only ever goes back a week. It takes faith and it takes courage and neither of those are particularly easy to come by. That’s the bad news.
The good news, and yes even I can see that there’s good news, is this. I’ve started. The next few months are going to bring kickboxing, Aikido, Yoga, climbing, any and everything is going to get tried and I’ll find ways to stick with the things that work. It’s not the best start there is, but it’s mine, and I intend to make the best of it. And to keep me on track, I’ll be writing about it here. Next week? My first kickboxing lesson, this time with added kickboxing. It’s going to be great.
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 26th, 2012 at 8:40 pm and is filed under Alasdair Stuart, Health. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
January 26th, 2012 at 10:45 pm
Solidarity.
I’ve been involved in a lot of weight-loss-support networks over the past ten years, and the one thing I’ve come to learn is that everyone’s different. Everyone’s starting point is different; everyone’s relationship to food (though touching on a lot of similar points) is individual involving a history that lasts a lifetime; and everyone’s root to success is correspondingly different as well. As your flatmate, I’ve witnessed your commitment to exercising every other day. I can only admire you. It really sucks, starting to try and lose weight. It only ever gets easy when you have a false sense of security, or at the end, which might as well be the same thing. There is no end. Permenant weightloss is a shift in one’s outlook and way of life, and that’s why it’s hard.
Good luck!
January 27th, 2012 at 11:06 am
Hi Alasdair,
Long time podcast listener and feels I should offer a few suggestions.
I’ve been overweight my whole life. I still am. Broad shoulders means you can hide a few, well, stone. But I’ve tried to do a few things.
Have a reason:
Mine was two fold, health and flirting with a fitness instructor online and wanting an introduction to the contents of their pants. (I’m shallow enough to admit that is the reason I started going to the spinning classes).
Input and output:
Track what you eat. Track what you do.
I’m using an app/website (the app part is useful as it has a barcode scanner, a database of foods and you are more likely to reach in to your pocket when eating than go to a website a few hours later) that tracks calorie intake and exercise.
There is also supposed to be a social function, that isn’t up to much unless you are part of a group tracking at the same time.
I can tell you mine, but I’d say go looking for yourself.
Aim small:
I’m going to loose 5 stone… eventually.
To be honest I really want to get a 34 inch waist eventually but weight is easier to track. Aim for loosing 5 kilos, then when you get there, aim for 5 more.
I will admit that I set my goals for loosing 25kg with changing intake goals every 5kg.
Its an easy amount to aim for, but if it turns out that you get the waist you want while still weighting more… how bad.
The other advantage of aiming small is: you are less likely to yo-yo.
You are making gradual, tracked, changes so its easier to stay there once you get there.
Track something:
This means weigh yourself. Same time, dame day. You ca pick when but stick with that time/day. You’re being honest with yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up if you gain.
As for me, I’ve lost 6kg since the start of December. I know, whoop-de-fecking-do. But is 6kg more than I would have without tracking, and that includes the calorie-festival that is Christmas.
You’re determined. With the risk of this becoming the incredibly shrinking blog details, let us know how you get along.
Take care,
W
January 29th, 2012 at 11:20 pm
All the positive vibes I can muster right at you, good Sir.
If it is any consolation, I was 375 lb. when I started. I’ve put some back on recently, but it is coming off again now. You can definitely, completely, utterly do this.
February 17th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Hey!
Another longtime pseudopod listener (pseudopodling?) coming to the surface –
1) Thank you for the podcast. I came for the stories (I think I turned up around episode 200?), but to be honest, I keep coming back for the outros. (Let’s just say I can really, really empathise with the “fat kid at the disco” syndrome)
2) I don’t know if you’ve read Kameron Hurley’s blog (www.kameronhurley.com) – in her archives she writes about writing, hitting things, dealing with late-diagnosed Type 2 diabetes, just generally being awesome and also lifting heavy weights and hitting things
. Krista at Stumptuous does the same. Perhaps more useful in some respects for me (on account of how they and I are all female-type-persons) but I’d say the general ass-kickery is universally applicable. (Also: http://www.stumptuous.com/fuck-calories)
3) Keep being awesome and hitting things! Your descriptions of Judo are really making me want to take a class.
Okay, I’ll stop with the unsolicited advice now and just say thanks again for the podcast, and thanks again for sharing
xx K
February 28th, 2012 at 9:30 am
You know, Kate Baker apparently hovered around the same number. You’ve got good company (http://www.anaedream.com/blog/). That said, sir, do you have friends to walk you through this? Do you have restrictions to what you can and can’t do? I ask because my parents are the kind of people who would rather suffer in silence than spend money on their health. Curious creatures. I’d be happy to talk offline about any of this if you want a complete stranger to bounce ideas off of.
March 20th, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Longtime reader and fellow judoka from across the pond here. This entry was a really tough one to read. It’s not easy to squeeze your voice into 10 point font and the fact that you do it so well is part of what makes this one so difficult. I also struggle with my weight and the judo habit is not enough to stave off the side effects of having a desk job, so I’ve resorted to developing very simple rules that have helped keep the weight down. They are:
1) Every day, do something. It doesn’t matter what, just do something out of the house, with your body, solely for the sake of moving it. Walk to work or the gym. Or walk to the gym, realize you don’t want to work out, then walk home.
2) Every day, more out than in. It’s ok to put 2,000 calories in if 2,001 calories have gone out. And, if you’re a packrat like me, it’s ok to buy that new coat if you get rid of an old coat and a t-shirt.
3) Put some money into it. I think you’re already doing this with your dojo fees, but joining a gym or buying one of those cheesy armband things with a small monthly fee that monitors your caloric intake and output, helps, but not for the obvious reasons. My employer offers a free gym membership as part of their “wellness package” (no NHS), but no one goes. Of over the hundred people that I work with, I think I only see five regularly. Charge a fee, however, and I guarantee it would change. Funny how it works that way.
Keep us updated, friend. Any movement, however small, is a victory.
Cheers,
-b